Canon Matter: Tale of the Tape

Home Town: Santa Cruz, CA, USA High School: Mount Mafuckindonna
Height: 5'11'' Wingspan: Comparable to Kahndor
Would like to have a drink with: David Bowie Would like to push down stairs: Claire from ''Lost''
Canon's credo: Death is the only adventure -Captain Hook

Education

  • Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo
    • Failed out of the College of Engineering after 4 years of coasting
    • Talked my way into the College of Science and Mathematics less than a quarter later
    • BS in Mathematics with a concentration in Abstract Algebra
  • Mount Madonna High School
    • Graduated in the top five of my senior class, the largest graduating class the school had seen: 16
    • Founded the Not-on-the-Volleyball-Team club, peaking at 5 members
    • Was the funniest Court Jester the school's annual production of The Ramayana has ever seen

Jobs

  • Nisene Technology Group
    • Use acid to burn plastic off of electrical components to expose integrated circuits within
    • Much less flashy a task than it sounds
  • San Luis Obispo Batting Cages
    • Went from not enjoying baseball to dominating 80-90 mph pitches with a wooden stick
    • Learned that smoking marijuana at any place of work is a terrible idea
  • CalTrans
    • Helped oversee construction of the Taylor Street Bridge crossing Hwy 87 in San Jose
    • Took new t-shirts, hard hats, and miscellaneous gear almost daily (your tax dollars at work)
  • Cinema 9
    • Refused promotion with intent of having as little responsibility as possible
    • As friends accepted those promotions, it became increasingly difficult to get in trouble

Other Nonsense

  • KCPR, Cal Poly Radio
    • DJ for 5 years, Executive Staff for 2
    • Administered an exam to potential new DJs whilst drinking a 40oz bottle of Magnum Malt Liquor
  • MoY
    • Retroactively crowned MoY 2001 for saving someone from falling off a cliff
    • Coined the term "Cupcake Breakfast," but not the action associated with it
  • Hobbies
    • Making Beer
    • Playing Video Games
    • Drinking Beer
    • Combining the third hobby with one of the first two.
  • Video Games
    • Dominated both Fables
    • Expert level Guitarist in Rock Band
    • Incredibly considerate teammate in Left 4 Dead
    • Bioshock scares the shit out of me, but I won't stop until it's done
    • 100% Wheel-Driver in Mario Kart Wii
    • The Force Unleashed is my childhood fantasy crammed onto a disc