EAD: Tale of the Tape
| Home Town: San Francisco, CA | High School: Saint Ignatius College Preparatory |
| Height: 5' 6'' | Wingspan: 66'' |
| Would like to have a drink with: Bob Dylan, the greatest American since MLK | Would like to push down stairs: Every single one of his ''friends'' |
| EAD's credo: If you don't like it you can eat one! | |
All you need to know
EAD is 28 years old. His life has been full of achievement and experience. Oftentimes he has left the following statement in the comments section of websites that stream pornography videos: "WHOA!!! I just splooged myself!!!" Currently, he has gainful employment as a test subject in a study of a treatment for jock itch.