Vermillion Pancake: Tale of the Tape

Home Town: St. Louis Park, MI, USA High School: Cardinal Newman High School
Height: 6'0'' Wingspan: 72''
Would like to have a drink with: Einstien Would like to push down stairs: Eli Manning
Vermillion's credo: To live life to the fullest, crush my enemies and revel in the lamentation of their women.

Accomplishments

  • 1981 - Lived my first memory of someone playing a frogger hand held game
  • 1983 - Placed 3rd in a downhill skiing technical course
  • 1985 - 1st place in a piano recital. (Played Mozart's 3rd Minuet in G-Major)
  • 1986 - Relocated to our nations capitol
  • 1987 - Made the soccer all-star team
  • 1989 - Finished 5th in the state of Virginia in backstroke at the state finals
  • 1990 - Moved to California shortly after the Loma Prieta Earth quake
  • 1991 - Punched a kid in the eye for the first time
  • 1996 - Integral part of the first undefeated freshmen football team in school history
  • 1997 - Made Varsity football as a sophmore
  • 1997 - Won CIF with an undefeated season.
  • 1998 - Lost my virginity on a bear-skin rug next to a fireplace. 30 seconds total. Tops
  • 1999 - Broke the school record in Pole-Vault (13'6''), won the NCS and seated first in the CA state meet.
  • 1999 - Won the Bank of America Math and Science award for the state of California
  • 1999 - Received my first and second GPA over 4.0. (4.33)
  • 2000 - Many drunken escapades during my time on the Cal Poly Water Ski Team
  • 2003 - Pioneered a way to explore the intricacies of the Mandelbrot Set.
  • 2004 - Successfully created an acousto-optic modulator. (I plan on using it to take over the world)
  • 2004 - Graduated with a BS in Physics from CPSU. (The best school in the continental 48 states)
  • 2005 - Wrote an algorithm to solve and generate Sudoku puzzles
  • 2007 - Helped conceive of the MOY 2008 while watching a Sharks game from my season tickets.
  • 2008 - Wrote my Man of the Year Resume
  • 2009 - Wore my golden blazer every single day. (365 days)

Skills Summary

  • Can solve a Rubix cube in less than 5 minutes
  • Excellent at Halo
  • Can Kiteboard, Wakeboard, Snowboard
  • Adept at Volleyball, Tennis, Frolf, Softball, Horseshoes, Darts, Billiards, Skeet shooting, crying myself to sleep
  • Terrible at Horseback riding and staying in a relationship

Qualifications for Manhood

  • I like boobies.
  • I do not have boobies.
  • I like sports.
  • I like beer.
  • I like video games.
  • I have a penis.
  • I prefer to have sex with females.
  • I have short hair.
  • I have facial hair.
  • I fail to see the logic in emotion.
  • Conan the Barbarian is my idol.