117 Days Until
Vegas Part Deux: The Reckoning

March 27^th, 2010One down, 9 to go.... more

March 20^th, 2010Death by Cinnamon... more

March 18^th, 2010Basketball? In March?... more

March 15^th, 2010First MoY DP of the year. Impressed?... more

February 11^th, 2010Competitions Selected... more

January 23^rd, 2010MoY winner 2k10 declared... more

February 7^th, 2009Hunting season is open!... more

February 6^th, 2009911 Challenge burns MoY... more

January 28^th, 2009The Jacket Hemmed of Gold... more

 

HOSTED BY: Daniel Figoni

WHEN: May 16th, in the year of our Lord, 2009

WHERE: Jackson Arms, South San Francisco, CA

DESCRIPTION: Since the dawn of time, man has wanted to propel metals balls at each other at speeds approaching that of sound. Well, we will do the next best thing: shoot the crap out of stationary pieces of paper. And while other competitions in 2009 are certainly not lamentable, the following sonnet explains why pistol target shooting is the most worthy of all Man of the Year competitions yet known.

The Podium

The Rest of Us Losers 4^th Pandemic (19.5 points)5^th Matt Stephenson (16 points)
6^th Canon Matter (14 points)7^th Cousin Bobby (12 points)
8^th Jimmy Soo Chew (8.5 points)9^th Mudskipper (10 points)
10^th Shawn Yapa (7 points)11^th Heath (6 points)
12^th Serg (5 points)13^th Matt Di Gino (4 points)


The Epic Story Despite a nationwide shortage on ammunition, caused by the Baracknaphobia creeping into our fellow American gunslingers, MoYers somehow conquered the odds and held this competition. After four separate types of weapons, 700 total rounds of spent ammunition, and one testosterone filled call out, the 2009 Man of the Year Pistol Target Shooting Champion was crowned.

13 competitors came out to Jackson Arms to partake in this momentous tournament (all but Jack Ferdon, Jonathan Hart, and Ed Martinez). After orientation, competitors had a few minutes to squeeze off a clip of ammo, helping them get initiated to the sights and sounds of modern firearms. After warm-ups were over, competitors ejaculated another 10 rounds of 22 caliber ammo to get seeded for the tournament.

Though only a few points separated the top few competitors, by all accounts most everyone figured that the top two seeds, Tim Hanks (1) and Peter Di Bono (2), would sail into the championship duel. Perhaps sensing this, Tim decided to use his option and called out Sergio Soria (10) in the first round of the tournament (instead of taking the automatic bye into the second round). Tim's call out showed that he had grit, determination, and an abundance of what people in the business refer to as ''testicular fortitude''. And we was justly rewarded. After a bit of a scare, Tim edged Sergio out by five points and secured himself an additional eight, decisive, points for the fourth and final round.

The second round of the tournament saw competitors make use the 9 MM pistols, a noticeable step up from the 22 Cal. Notable in the second round was Jimmy Chew's (4) surprise performance of scoring a total of 31 out of a possible 110 in 10 shots. A truly memorable, albeit pathetic, performance. His competitor in the round, Daniel Figoni (5), managed to exceed that mark with his first four shots. Figoni then decided that firing off the remaining rounds with a maniacal, distorted smile would be the best course of action, shades of Charlie Kelly.

And after the 9 MM the semifinals were set: Peter Di Bono (2) vs. Eric Pan (3), Tim Hanks (1) vs. Daniel Figoni (5).

Competitors broke out the 45 Caliber Pistol for the third round. A sizeable gun with a cartridge that could hold 20, the kickback of the 45 flummoxed some competitors. The 45 is not a gun to be trifled with. It was in this round that MoY saw the first upset of the tournament. Having won the 2008 MoY Trap Shooting, and having been the top seed in this event, Hanks was the favorite heading into the tournament. Choosing to shoot first, Hanks posted a tremendous 93 with the 45. Somehow, someway, Figoni followed that up with an even more impressive 98. The king had fallen and Figoni secured himself a spot in the final.

In the other semifinal Di Bono (2) went toe to toe Eric Pan (3). Little is known about the intricacies of the epic battle, except that Di Bono dispatched Pan (actual scores unknown).

After all the planning, the speculation, the intrigue, we were set for the championship final that pitted together two men who had known each other since grade school. Di Bono, having shot firearms much of his life was the odds on favorite against Figoni, who, if anyone had asked, was just happy that he didn't accidentally shoot anyone that day.

Di Bono opted Figoni to shoot the 44 Magnum Pistol, the Dirty Harry gun, first. Best score with six shots of the revolver won the competition. Taking his time, Figoni managed three 10's and three 11's for a total score of 63 out of 66, the highest score by anyone shooting the Magnum up until that point. And though Di Bono also easily surpassed any individual score posted up until the championship match, his tally of 57 was not enough to best Figoni.

It could have only been better, remarked Figoni, had he been wearing his GoldenEye 007 Most Deadly t-shirt.

Awards
Biggest Conspiracy: Daniel Figoni - for having won an event that he hosted. Isn't that, like... um... against the rules or something?
Most Consistent: Peter Di Bono, Nate Cramton, Bobby McCarthy - for having finished the tournament exactly in the positions they were seeded. These men truly know what it is to meet expectations.
Balls to the Wall: Tim Hanks - for foregoing a guaranteed spot in the second round by calling out Sergio Soria. It was this victory that was the difference for him between 3rd and 4th overall. It is this kind of indomitable will that makes MoY what it is today.
Scheduling Miracle: Eric Pan - for only having to win only one match the whole day to get 4th place overall. Congratulations!
Most Dangerous: Matt Stephenson- for having finished 5th overall. Nothing stands out about his time at the range, and perhaps that's what makes him the most dangerous... he could strike at any time.
Most Intimidating: John Paul Vasicek - for having the finest mustache that MoY has seen in all its history. Check out the photos, find those beautiful chops of his, and we dare you to say you wouldn't run away from him while screaming if he showed up at your door with a 44 Magnum Pistol.
Next Generation: Shawn Yapa - for showing up to the event without any visible hair on his body, other than his eyebrows. He's about two generations from telepathically communicating offspring who don't have pinkies.
Pathetic: Jimmy Chew - for completely blowing it in the second round. Seeded 4th overall, Chew hit the paper a total of four times for a score of 31. Had Tim not given him a bye in the first round by calling out Sergio, perhaps he finishes last instead of Matt. Instead, he lucks into 8th. Not his finest day.
The Vulture: Heath Pope - for feeding off the scraps with head-to-head wins against the only competitors who finished lower than him in the tournament. He had two wins and two losses.
Most Pathetic: Sergio Soria - for posting a total of 7 points in the final round, having hit the piece of paper but once out of six shots. One could argue that redeeming quality for this sad display is that that 44 Magnum is a $%#&#@ big gun... and he didn't drop the hammer back before each shot... But still, a 7 is the opposite of good.
Saddest Day: Matt Di Gino - for seeding last and finishing last. Single tear. At least he finished ahead of the three competitors that didn't show up!

Tournament The actual tournament will be four rounds of single elimination. Every spot, however, will be played out. Every participant shoots in each round so we know each spot from 1 thru 16. If you lose in the first round, the highest spot you can finish is 9th.

The higher seeded player in any matchup decides whether to go first or second.

First Round: 22 Caliber Pistols.

''The Call Out''. In the first round and the first round only, any of the top seeded players who have a bye because of absences can select to call out anybody from the remaining field (anyone who doesn't already have a bye). The person called out will then match up against the top seeded player. Should the top seeded player win, he will get bonus points for the fourth round of the event. (Bonus Points = 2 x (# Seed Participant - Lowest Seed # + 1))

For instance, say Sergio earns the #1 seed and has a bye scheduled for the first round, but Sergio is a man and doesn't want no phucking bye. He decides to call somebody out and he picks Figoni because Figoni is pretty pathetic. Figoni is the 12th seeded player of the field of 13. Should Sergio win that round, he will get 4 bonus points for the fourth and final round. The person who was seeded against Figoni gets a bye. This adds shenanigans, strategy, and thing we like to call ''putting your balls to the wall'' to this round.

Second Round: 9 MM Pistols. 10 shots.

Third Round: 45 Cal Pistols. 10 shots.

Fourth Round: 44 Magnum Revolver. 6 Shots.